Email backlog

It has come to my attention that I have more than 200 emails awaiting replies. This is worse than usual. To Everyone: I'm sorry! I would send an auto-response that I'm busy, but I don't have time to figure out how to make one.

Here's my typical schedule: Go to work around 11am, run around totally busy until 7 or 8pm (I'm managing a small animation team), then go home and work on my novel revision until 2 or 3am. On weekends, I catch up with friends, or my sister, or actually go on a date. I don't have kids or pets, so honestly, I can't comprehend how someone with kids or pets ever answers email.

Mini-update on my writing:

I estimate I'll be finished with my novel revision around May 2006. Once I'm satisfied that it's better than the old version (test readers!!!), I'll throw every effort into trying to catch the attention of an agent or publisher. No more rewrites. No more agonizing over making it marketable. If the new version gets poor reactions, then I'll stick with the old version, and I mean stick with it. That is a resolution! Stand by for adventures in publishing . . .

Since I've thrown all my attention towards the novel, I haven't done anything with my short stories. Most of them need revisions. But, happily, I did get a rewrite request from Baen's Universe . . . that's almost a pro sale!

Regarding the monitor problem: Thanks for sending in advice. I gather that it could be a bad monitor cable, a conflict between hardware drivers, or a dying monitor. Since I wrote that blog entry, I haven't had a problem (go figure), but I'm sure it'll come back. I'll try different things and post about whatever works.

My computer is insane and wants to die

I just restarted my computer 18 times (maybe more than that), and the monitor never kicked in. The power's on, but nobody's home.

So I figured, maybe I have a dead monitor. Time to test it with another computer. I dragged out my ancient Windows 98 machine and hooked it up. The monitor worked, but it looked pixellated and weird. I began to hope that my problem truly is JUST that I need a new monitor. Replacing a monitor is easy. Replacing my computer would be a huge chore, because it has a ton of stuff on it that I don't want to lose in the transfer.

I hooked the monitor back to my newer computer . . . and lo, it worked fine. It was as if nothing was wrong at all.

You might say, "Well, Abby, maybe your monitor wasn't hooked up properly the first time." But you'd be wrong! Because this blank monitor is a recurring problem that's been happening AT RANDOM for the last half a year. Every once in a while--usually when I plug or unplug a USB device--the monitor goes blank. It's been happening more and more frequently. At first, it only happened once a month or so. Now it's very common, and sometimes the monitor won't work on start-up.

You might say, "Well, Abby, maybe you just have a bad video card." But you'd probably be wrong again! Because I've replaced my video card TWICE in the last year or so. If it's gone bad a third time, that's just not fair. Not fair, I say.

So . . . what do you think I should do? Buy a new monitor? Or bite the bullet and buy a new computer, even though I'd rather wait to do that? Please, if you're reading this and you know stuff about computers, I beg you for advice!

Thank you and good night.

digital camera joy

Yay! My parents very nicely bought me a Nikon S4 for Hanukkah. Now I can show you the pretty view from the balcony of my condo, which I just moved to. Check it out:



I mean, it's no big deal to most people, but in So Cal (Southern California), the houses are spaced so close together than most windows look upon other people's houses. This is the first place I've lived in since college where I can look out my window and see mostly sky. It's sunny and pretty. Directly below me is a courtyard-like park where dogs and kids sometimes play.

Now I'll set about making a photo section for my website!

new start

I've started a new life today.

Sort of. About two months ago, I had a break-up with my boyfriend of five years. We both still care deeply for each other, but our relationship wasn't working. Ever since the "divorce" (that's what it feels like), I've oscillated between depression and joy, nostalgia and optimism for the future. It's been a rough end-of-year. Anyway, he's dating someone else now, and I've moved into a different condo. Today is my first day of being settled in. I'm mostly unpacked, my internet access is set up, and I can sit around and enjoy the view from my balcony. It looks like home at last! I would show you the pretty view, but I need to buy a digital camera. It's on my lengthening shopping list. The last time I was single, I was a mere teenager of 22, fresh out of college, and I didn't own much furniture or things. I'm at a stage in life where I want to own more things. Like a house. It's strange, because I remember being 22 and not wanting to settle down. I'd retained a notion that I would travel a lot, become wildly successful by the age of 27, and build a fabulous mansion when I was good and ready. Do all 22-year-olds have grandiose dreams? I think they're a good thing. We all need goals to strive for. The biggest symptom of my late 20s, I think, is that my dreams are fading. I still hope that I'll be wildly successful and build the awesome mansion, but I can no longer tell myself that it will happen by the age of 27. I'm 27 now. So I'll postpone that goal for age 30 . . . but somewhere along the course of life, I've learned how to postpone good things and procrastinate on others, and I can no longer believe these promises I make to myself without at least some doubts. I have a sad feeling that I will end up postponing that goal till age 35, then 40, and while I continue to struggle towards the stars, so to speak, I'll remain single and grow more bitter and ugly with every passing year. What will I have when I'm 60? I used to believe in my wonderful future with blind faith. I think that's what held me together through the trials of childhood, high school, and college. Now that personal faith is shaken. Worries and doubts are creeping in. I don't know what my future holds, and I don't like not knowing.

So there's my depressing sermon for the day. Kids, don't grow up! Priestess Abby signing off.

Oh, I may as well give an update on the rest of my life while I'm here. Work is going well. I'm doing 3D animation for a Nintendo DS game, and enjoying it. Being single, I've seen more of my friends, and will have more time to write screenplays and novels. I did have a fun Thanksgiving holiday at a friend's house. For the Christmas week, I'm going on a ski trip to Mammoth Mountain, which I'm really looking forward to. Skiing is the only sport I'm capable of, since I grew up in a non-athetic family living in New Hampshire. I'm only an intermediate skier, but I like the speed of going downhill.

Writing: On hold for the last two months. I will get back to it as of today. Of course, I've managed to distract myself with George RR Martin's series. If you like to read, do yourself a favor and buy A Game of Thrones. That is some good crack.

Art: I just modeled a few Gothic buildings in 3ds Max, but my latest ambition is to paint my own book covers. I went to the Gnomon Workshop, where world-famous digital painters give amazing tutorials, and I left feeling inspired.

Long Time, No Update

It's been a while. I planned to update this blog every week, but I think I'd have to write a novel to catch up now. August was a busy month. Well, it was a vacation month, which means I got to go to a lot of theme parks, concerts, parties, and generally wallow in my free time. I count that as REAL life. Most of my life isn't that exciting.

Anyway, my artwork will be featured in an upcoming gallery show. The reception is this Saturday evening, in Alhambra (between Pasadena and Los Angeles), at Gallery Nucleus. If you're in the L.A. area, it's worth going to! There will be free drinks, a live band, and women get 10% off all the store merchandise, since it's an all-woman show. My artwork will be for sale at the gallery and on their online store throughout September.

I never told you about Comic Con, did I? Well ... to those of you who are "Wheel of Time" fans ... I went to a dinner with Robert Jordan and his wife, Harriet. That was a really cool, interesting experience! I'll attempt to go into more detail at a later date.

In the last week of July, I spent ten days in New Hampshire at TNEO (the Odyssey writing workshop alumni program thingy). It's basically a high-end critique group. Some of the Odyssey graduates are published novelists, and many have experience in the publishing industry, so I judged it worth going to. It was. I'll probably go again next year. Not only did we critique each other's work (and receive critiques on up to three stories of our own), but we practiced pitching our novels, we did a reading at Barnes & Noble, and we had panels covering everything from Young Adult markets to writing good query letters. Ask about my reading at B&N and watch me blush ...

So, I could tell you about the Doctor Steel and STG concerts I went to, but I think Larry has covered everything I'd have to say about that. If you've never heard of those bands (and you probably haven't), then it is your duty as a music-lover to check them out. By the way, Doctor Steel went to CalArts in the same Character Animation program I went through. You just wait, someday I'll have a Flash website that looks as cool as his ...

I've been out of work since Tak 3 wrapped up. I believe it will be showing up in stores across the world pretty soon. Remember, kids, I wrote some of the dialogue in that game (the Gameboy Advance version, anyway). I got to write the mind reader boss's dialogue! Oh yeah, and I animated him, too. Actually, I'm only responsible for about 1/3 of the in-game dialogue, and the publisher smoothed it all over and made sure there weren't any in-jokes left. Or maybe they just replaced our in-jokes with their in-jokes.

So, I'm doing some freelance, designing T-shirts and logos for an advertising company. Also continuing to teach myself Flash MX. I've overcome the learning hump and enjoying it now. I want to design a whole bunch of Flash websites for fun. But I try to keep my priorities in the right order, so I'm focusing on my writing instead. (Yes, that is a priority with me; I'm just weird.) I'm currently working on a short story about demonic Vikings. Rejections are trickling in ... maybe I'm self-deluded, but I keep thinking it's only a matter of time before I reach my goal of breaking into a pro market. I'll tell you as soon as it happens.

My novels and my screenplays are on hold. But not for long! I'm going to go insane and rip somebody's head off if I don't get back to long format writing soon.

Abby, signing off.

Spam-free!

What a difference spam makes . . . I just closed my last spam-compromised email account, so I no longer receive unwanted emails. Words can't describe how joyful I felt when I checked my email today and it said "no new messages"! Ah, bliss! I checked it several hours later, just to make sure, and there are still no new messages! This is like a trip to Disneyland.

So, Larry and I went to a Goth/Industrial club on Friday the 13th. The band we saw is STG, and Larry took photos of them. I had a good time. The Derby has a really cool, retro atmosphere; it used to be the major Swing club in L.A. I'm considering going to The Labyrinth Masquerade, an annual masquerade in L.A. based on the movie. Isn't everything based on a movie around here?

I'm not as crazy as I sound

After I received a number of concerned responses to my latest Abby Update, I realized that I sound like a crazed, overworked, 10-cups-a-day freak. Rest assured, this is NOT the case. My job is fun. I enjoy all of my writing projects. Yes, I have a lot going on, but most of it is self-imposed, because I love doing it. And I do take breaks and have fun! I have a social life, I live in a pretty neighborhood where I can go for walks or swimming, and I live with a really great guy. I'm not locked up in some room slaving away. But thank you for your concern! :-)

One day, one of my projects will pay off . . .

Hello Friends and Neighbors!

My latest story is at Aoife's Kiss. I've been writing at a faster pace, but my publications are growing fewer. I don't think this is because I'm losing my touch. Nope. I've begun to submit to high profile markets first (like Asimov's), and these places take much longer to respond than smaller zines. It's not unusual to wait three months for a reply. In my case, it's often a rejection. Then I send the story to another market and wait another for another season to pass. I currently have six stories subbed to various markets: Borderlands anthology, Deathlings.com, Fishnet.com, fromtheasylum.com, Conduit contest, and two closed anthologies.

You may be wondering what happened to my novels. Well, The Illusionist is shelved. It needs major revising, and I've been distracted with other projects (see below).

As for the Yeresunsa saga . . . if you read my blog, then you know that's the frustration of my life. I believe that Yeresunsa is publishable and good. But the first part of the adventure is 530,000 words, and no publisher will consider that length from a new author. So I chopped the story into three novels. The first of these three books was rejected from Baen Books a few months ago. The reader at Baen said that she'd love to see my novel in print, but the current ending doesn't work at all (which is natural, since that book was the first segment of a longer work). Anyway, when all is said and done, the Baen reader had a very good point. Based on her advice--and on feedback from test readers--I want to combine the first two books, thereby giving it a more conclusive ending. That will make for a long novel, even after I reduce it . . . but 250,000 words long, not 530,000 words. I'll still have a hellish time trying to get any editor to read it, but at least the possibility will exist. I hear tantalizing stories of authors who've gotten their 250,000 word first novels published. I hope to become one of them.

The Yeresunsa saga is not sitting idly. A literary agent requested an exclusive read on the first book, and has had it since December. I've queried her a couple of times, and as far as I know, she still plans to read it. I'm not in a hurry. I want time to combine/reduce the first two books into a fat novel with a solid ending, if the agent passes on it. And after that, at long last (and with great joy), I will write the next book in the series. I'm pleased that a few people have been asking for it.

I've planned other novels, but they're on hold in favor of a screenwriting project. I figured, I live in Los Angeles, I have film industry connections, and I write stories for fun . . . why not try to earn money for it? Yup. So I'm finishing a feature-length SciFi Thriller in between my short stories and work. To stay motivated, and to meet other screenwriters, I've founded an informal screenwriting group. We meet once a month in the L.A. area. If you'd like to join our mailing list, here it is.

Of course, that's the not the end of the projects I'm working on. My life is not complete without ten million things I can't handle. If you looked up the phrase "bit off more than she could chew" in m-w.com, you'd see my photo next to it. I plan to finish animating my little Flash film. I want to animate a series of webisodes. I want to revise major portions of my website. The Wheel of Time section needs work, my art gallery needs an overhaul, I'd like to expend the review sections, and start a column in response to Group Hug. Oh yes, and I participate in a critique group that requires one critique per week. Finally--last but certainly not least--I'm going to TNEO (The NeverEnding Odyssey) this July. This involves something like 50 critiques that I need to complete by July, and I need to write two short stories within the next two months. I don't know what animal I'll need to sacrifice to generate enough free time, but it will have to be a big one. Maybe a cthulhu.

So you can understand why I'm not responding to my email very quickly.

Now it's time for BOOK and MOVIE REVIEWS!

I just finished listening to Philip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. Maybe it was because I was listening to an all-star British cast recording while animating weird monsters, but I greatly enjoyed it. I'm not too keen about the ending--it sort of fell apart in mayhem and abstraction, as many epics tend to do--but it worked. The premise (original), characters (entertaining), and settings (nicely rendered) made the trilogy very worthwhile. I can't wait to see how New Line Cinema adapts it to film.

And I listened to Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte. Maybe I'd better not comment on this classic, for fear of critical repercussions. Nah. Here's my opinion: Beautiful language, lovely voice, extremely engaging character and situation. BUT the ending just sucked. I mean, I hated Jane Eyre towards the end. All of my built-up sympathy for her character just evaporated. I can't say more without giving spoilers, but I had to say that much.

Falling Free by Lois McMaster Bujold was entertaining. Much more so than the book cover indicates. The more of Bujold I read, the more I like her, and the more I resent her marketing people for choosing terrible cover designs.

I give Dean Koontz's Odd Thomas a thumbs-down. Before you shoot me for saying that, please remember that I don't enjoy reading humor (not for prolonged periods, anyway). You might like Odd Thomas just fine. In fact, you probably will, especially if you liked The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy or Terry Pratchett. Odd Thomas was halfway between serious and funny, as some of Koontz's books tend to be, and I dislike those, although I think they're among his best-selling. The character of Odd Thomas was cool, nice to listen to, but the plot just didn't do anything for me.

Now, on to movies. I saw Hitchhiker's Guide and my reaction was "bleh." Again, you might not want to trust my opinion, but I have a few valid reasons on this one. The film-makers played up the romance way too much. This film is supposed to be a comedy. The sudden soberness of the romance slowed down the pacing. It became cheesy in a few scenes. Also, the character design of the manic-depressive robot was awful. He looked cute and superdeformed, with sad eyes, which gives away everything about him without a hint of contrast. As any film student knows, contrast makes a character interesting; it emphasizes the main traits. If you want your audience to be impressed by a legendery 900-year-old warrior, you make him look frail and puny. This emphasizes the fact that the warrior can kick anyone's ass. If you want your audience to fear a genius serial-killer, you make him look and behave like an ordinary person when he's in public. Etc. Anyway, the robot just looked stupid and fake.

What else have I seen recently? Honestly, not much, because there isn't much out that interests me. I saw Sin City and probably won't see it again. And Robots, which was well-made from an animator's perspective. Oh yes. A Boy and His Dog is a 1970s film based on a novella by Harlan Ellison; the ending makes the film worth sitting through, perhaps.

Travel:
I'll be at to E3, the game expo in Los Angeles., in a couple of weeks.
I plan to attend ComicCon in San Diego in mid-July. I'll try to say hello to Robert Jordan.
And I'll be in New Hampshire during the last week of July. TNEO is being held at St. Anselm's College, near Manchester.
I'll also be at WorldCon (the world's biggest science fiction convention) in Anaheim next summer, 2006.

Thank you for reading, listening, or what have you. Best wishes!

Busy!

I've overdue for sending out an update, and my unanswered email piles up. I feel terrible about the emails that have been sitting in my inbox since November. But I can explain. I'm putting in long hours at work, animating characters in the upcoming Tak game for Gameboy Advance, meeting tight deadlines. I've also started a screenwriting group, Reel Writers, Los Angeles. If you live in Los Angeles and you're interested in screenwriting, you're welcome to join. We recently had our first meeting. I thought it went well, with useful feedback on our individual projects, and good discussion about plot ideas.

It may not sound like a lot, but I've barely had time to sleep. My fiction writing has fallen by the wayside. That's making me a little depressed; I hope I'll have some time to write this week. More to come! By the way, I've just got to say, I'm glad to work at a company where everyone can spontaneously leave in the middle of the day to see a matinee of Sin City. It just meant we had to work later than usual.

Some weird fun with Photoshop

I like using my Wacom tablet. The furniture photos, by the way, are from my parents' house.

I plan to have a real update here soon. The short of it is this: My story Leveling Mountains is featured in this month's issue of Aoife's Kiss. I'd appreciate a vote!

Wow . . . tsunamis.

I'd always imagined them to look like a curling wall of water, but the footage from Sri Lanka and India shows that they look more like ordinary beach waves on a massive scale. It's like a bucket slopping over miniature models of buildings, vehicles, and people. I can't imagine the devastation and anguish that the survivors have to face. I rarely comment on global news that reaches my corner of the world (because it's usually about fighting over my two least favorite topics: politics and religion) but this one left me a bit shocked. For some reason, tsunamis are one of my weird childhood fears. I was never worried about tornadoes, earthquakes, or sharks, but when I went to the beach, I'd sometimes think "If a tidal wave sped toward us right now, we'd never be able to outrun it."

I recently sent out my Abby Update newsletter, and I was going to paste it here. Now it seems too happy in the face of recent world events. Hence the preface. Also, after I reread the newsletter, I realized that it sounded way too friggin' happy. I'm more of a pessimist than an optimist. So I want to take a quick moment to say that I was in an unusually good mood when I wrote it! In fact, I've had such a great month so far, I'm expecting a ton of bad luck to come crashing down on me in January. Yeeks! I can almost see its shadow!

Okay. My biggest cause for celebration is that a literary agent has requested my manuscript. That may not sound like a big deal, but I was jumping for joy. Literally. Why? Well, here are the usual steps in the process of a first-time author getting a novel published:

• You finish your novel, and revise/edit it obsessively over a period of years.
  
• You send out lots of query letters to reputable agents and major publishing houses, hoping that one of them will be interested enough to ask for the first three chapters. (A good literary agent may be able to get your novel read by major publishing houses.)
  
• No one answers your query letters. Years pass. You revise your query letters incessantly, trying to write the perfect query letter.
  
• More years pass. Your new query letters don't work. You try networking with agents and editors.
  
• Finally, your years of networking and query letter revising come together in perfect harmony. An agent requests the first three chapters of your novel!
  
• Months pass. You worry that the agent has lost your submission.
  
• But wait! The agent had a huge slushpile of submissions to wade through, and as it turns out, she "literally flew through" the first three chapters. And she looks forward to reading the rest of the book!!!
  

That's where I am right now. I've FedExed the novel to her, and I'll let you know what the outcome is.

This is by far the furthest I've ever been toward novel publication. I have some worries--she may not take me on as a client--but I still consider this to be a huge step. It's the first time my novel will be judged by an agent on its own merits, rather than on my query letters or poor salesmanship skills. I figure that no matter what happens, at least ONE agent in New York will know that I can write. I have high hopes that she'll remember my novel, because it's an unusual story.

In addition to that, my animation career is perking up. I'm slated to work on a few Nintendo games as a lead animator. As always, this industry is unsteady, and I can't say what I'll be doing six months from now, but I feel good and secure about the immediate future.

Larry and I celebrated both Hanukkah and Christmas. I've received a Dell pocket PC--a very nifty little computer that comes with a retractable keyboard and wireless internet access--and a 20GB mp3 player. This is perfect for my audio book listening habits. I go through seven or eight unabridged audio books per month. I also got some delicious Belgian chocolates, and a bunch of magazine subscriptions and gift certificates that I've wanted.

Spoiler-Free MOVIE REVIEWS

We saw Life Aquatic at a fabulous outdoor mall in L.A. Yes, fabulous is the word. It was the epitome of Beverly Hills / L.A. culture, although it was closer to Hollywood. Anyway, my friends give the movie a thumbs-up. If you liked The Royal Tennenbaums, you'll like this one. But I didn't particularly like The Royal Tennenbaums. 'Nuff said.

I thought A Series of Unfortunate Events was worth seeing, but I haven't read the Lemony Snicket books. The acting and the movie sets and costumes were completely awesome. The story adaptation may have been a little shaky.

Blade III was campy, good fun. I think it was better than Blade II, with more character and plot. And it has some funny scenes.

The Return of the King, Extended Edition was well worth the four hours of watching! I think it needed the scenes they'd cut.

Meet the Fockers was entertaining. It was pretty much as funny as advertised in the trailer, and a good way to spend a few hours, but don't go expecting a deep story!

Um . . . I'm not sure if I saw anything else recently. Hey, the trailer for the new Charlie and the Chocolate Factory looks great! I'm angry at Tim Burton for remaking something that didn't need to be remade, but after that trailer, I'll see it. I'm less enthusiastic about the upcoming War of the Worlds movie.

Spoiler-Free BOOK REVIEWS

So, I listened to Across the Nightingale Floor, by Lian Hearn. I've heard rave reviews about this one, but after reading it, I don't understand what they were raving about. The story and style both seemed very conventional. It was well-written, but . . . well, nothing to rave about, IMHO.

And I listened to David Brin's The Postman. My diagnosis on this one is that it has a kick-ass, original premise, and poor execution. I had this feeling throughout the entire story that it wasn't hitting its potential. The characters were too clueless within the context of the story. The suspense never really peaked in any place, although there were plenty of places where it could have. Worst of all, I kept predicting what the main character was going to do well before he realized what he was going to. This could have been a wild, unpredictable story, but it was pretty tame for the subject matter.

I've been reading a lot of short stories. I'm picking through genre magazines and anthologies, and my two critique groups are keeping me really busy. I probably read fifteen short stories per week. I listen to audio books because that's my way of sponging extra reading time. If you're wondering, I only listen to unabridged audio books. Abridgements are an affront to nature and all that is holy! Next up: Orson Scott Card's Lost Boys, Ursula K. Le Guin's first Earsea novel, and Susannah Clarke's Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell.

And now it's time for me to sleep. I humbly beg your pardon if you've emailed me and I haven't responded. My backlog of emails-to-answer is nearing 100. I'm going to make an effort to reply to some of those over the holiday week. If you don't hear from me . . . .I'm a jerk. But I'll still like hearing from you, and eventually, I hope, I'll reply.

Happy Holidays to everyone!

eulogy for Billy

I had a shock today when my mother called and told me that my dog died. He was a golden retriever named Billy, and he died from a ruptured spleen and other complications at the age of twelve. I knew this death was coming, because he was getting old, but I'd thought he'd live another year. I'd hoped to visit him one last time and let him know that I hadn't forgotten him. The last time he saw me was in August 2004, three months ago. I'm writing this now because Billy was a dog who deserves to be remembered. He was the finest example of a dog that I've ever known.

He was born from a family of golden retriever show-dogs. My family adopted him in the winter of 1992, when he was three months old. I was thirteen at the time, and nervous around dogs, having had a few unpleasant experiences with them. Billy was a surprise. I came home from a winter camp to find that we had a puppy in our house. But he was gentle and innocent, so I found it impossible to be afraid of him. My parents caged him in our basement at night, but he cried, and soon I let him sleep in my bedroom, on the condition that my sister and I take full responsibility for training him. Billy was extremely intelligent. House-training him took a few weeks, and he learned every conventional doggie trick in a few months. He slept at the foot of my bed until he grew bigger, and then he slept under my desk. Eventually he slept downstairs with a dog we bought to keep him company, a female tri-colored collie named Layli. Billy had a lot of funny personality quirks that I'd never imagined in a dog. For instance, he would try to smile by holding in his lips so his teeth showed, but his face was relaxed, not like a growl. He had superstitions about robotic toys and floating balloons; both were things to be avoided, probably because of the weird way they move. He also learned how to communicate with people by shuffle-dancing (when he wanted something), making noises in his throat (he made low whining sounds that were almost like questions or comments), and pointing by looking back and forth between the object and the human. He had a bin full of toys, and he assigned each toy to a specific person. If he wanted to greet me, then he would search though his toy bin and find the human-doll. If he wanted to greet my sister, he would find the duckie-doll. He had a toy for each family member, and different toys for friends. I thought it was cute that he always greeted people with a toy, no matter what. There were a few times when he rooted through his toy bin to the bottom and whined because he couldn't find the correct toy to greet someone with. Usually the toy had been left under a cushion or in another room.

While the dog-tricks are cute, Billy's best trait was his compassion. He was a companion to my grandmother, who lived in our house for a year, and who disliked dogs until she met Billy. He offered comfort to people in pain by resting his head in their lap, and by giving them extra attention and sympathetic looks. Although he was energetic during his puppyhood, and he grew to be 90 lbs, he knew when to be gentle. He never jumped on anyone aside from healthy family members who could handle it. He never knocked anyone over. He never bit or growled at people. At one time, my mother (a social worker) brought him to her patients as a therapy dog. And I can't neglect to mention that Billy was a wonderful friend to me; he was a being whom I absolutely trusted, and who trusted me unconditionally. I'm not sure I would have survived my teenage years without Billy. At the very least, he kept me from slipping into a pool of self-loathing. He kept me sane. The hardest part of leaving for college was leaving Billy behind. During my first or second semester away, I heard that Billy had run past the dog-gate and into my bedroom, leapt onto my bed, and wouldn't leave for a day. I wish I could have taken him with me to college. The first few times I returned home to visit, he cried more than I'd ever seen him do before. After a few years, he got more used to it--but I wish my long absences didn't hurt him. I noticed that he grew more lethargic and took to barking at night, both traits that he hadn't had until after I left.

I have a lot of happy memories of Billy. I'd like to share them all, but I could go on for pages. I'll mention a few highlights. Billy liked to play squeaky-under-the-rug. This would involve me (or anyone) hiding one of his squeaky toys underneath a small rug. I'd press the squeaky so he could hear it. Then Billy would pretend he was stalking it. He'd rear up and leap upon the rug like an attacking bear. I'd move the squeaky around so it wasn't where he'd expect. Eventually, he would throw the rug aside and grab the squeaky, then do a dance of triumph. He would prance around in a circle, snorting, tossing his head, and squeaking the squeaky. In later years, he'd do the triumph dance with the rug in his mouth instead; I guess he considered that a bigger trophy. He also liked to play fetch, and he would chase balls down flights of stairs and swim after them as well. He knew every variation of the terms "walk" and "food", and how to spell all of them, so our family was eventually reduced to using code phrases like "Let's do a W" (take Billy for a walk) or "Is it time?" (to feed Billy). If he understood what we were talking about, he would expect us to carry through with it immediately. If anyone said the word "walk," he would run and get his leash. If anyone said "dinner", he would look at the kitchen and make noises until he was fed. Of course, if we failed to carry through, he would look dejected and sigh a lot. Yes, he could actually guilt-trip humans into walking and feeding him. He had very expressive eyes and eyebrows.

I've missed Billy for eight years now--that's how long I've been gone from home--but he was always close in my heart. I will continue to miss him now that he's gone, and mourn him. This is the best I can do, and I know that it's less than he deserves. He's earned the respect and love of this particular human.



Billy
b. October 15, 1992 -- d. November 30, 2004
Rest in Peace. I will never forget you.

World Fantasy Convention 2004

he palm trees are green, the hedges play jazz music, and it's late autumn in California.

The last time I posted in my blog, I was going insane with my novel rewrite. This is no longer the case. I have attained a zen-like attitude of fatalism. If I finish the rewrite and it works, great. If not . . . I still believe the current version is a good book. If it never gets looked at due to its structural problem, then I'll just wait until I'm famous and have it published then!

I just returned from the World Fantasy Convention, which is a conference for professional genre authors, editors, and publishers (despite its name). They're so professional that they hold the convention on Halloween and don't dress up in any costumes. There was an art show there, and panel discussions, but the point of this convention was mostly to shmooze--aka network. I'm not a social person, but to my surprise, I had a really good time. I met a lot of online friends for the first time, and (to sound corny) met new friends. It was also a thrill for me to hear some big-name authors and publishers speak their minds.

I want to go on about this conference at great length, but that would be boring to many readers, so I'll save it for the end of this entry.

ANIMATION

On the animation front, I'm full-swing into the job hunt. It's a demoralizing process, because most of my queries receive no reply, and I'm not qualified for most of the jobs I want. I'm not qualified because I don't have the right experience, and I can't get the right experience because I can't get those jobs. It's the old catch-22. I can see a way out of this vicious cycle: I need to make a kick-ass 3D film single-handedly. But that requires a lot of time and dedication, and I don't like the idea of putting aside my writing ambitions in favor of that.

However, I am learning Flash MX and making an animated short that will probably put my other films to shame. It's a lot of fun, and I think it'll be a great thing on my demo reel. The process is also setting me up for my future ambition: A series on online cartoons, a la Homestar Runner. I have high hopes for this project. The voice actors are lined up (thanks, voice actors!), the scripts are ready, and the characters are designed. All I need now is to do it.

Speaking of animation, I just saw The Incredibles. Go see it! I think they made an incredible film, exceeding my expectations by a long shot. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I actually WANT them to make a sequel. (pout) I wish Pixar would hire me. My applications to them never received replies.

ARIZONA ROAD-TRIP

So anyway, back to other stuff. Larry and I took a little road trip through the deserts of Arizona on the way back from the convention. The photos should be on his website soon. We stopped at Montezuma's Castle, an ancient fortress built into a cliff wall by Native Americans. It was inhabited by 35 people from a community of 200. Apparently the other people had a ground-level place, but it burned down 600 years ago. The same day (Halloween), we drove from a saguaro cactus desert--with warm summer temperatures--to an icy cold pine forest with a foot of snow on the ground. We passed through the town of Sedona at sunset. All the kids were trick-or-treating. According to the people of Sedona, there are energy points around the town that make people feel good. I'm a total skeptic, but I must say, I felt good driving through there! It was so pretty. Larry and I turned to each other at the same moment and said "Let's live here!"

We stayed overnight in Flagstaff--brrr--and then we checked out Meteor Crater. Yeah, it's basically a big hole that got blasted into the desert 50,000 years ago, but it was impressive. Also windy. I figure the wind chill factor was 30 F. And then we drove the eight hours back to L.A., reading the last book in the Dark Tower series on the way. We're still not done with it, but I must say, the action is building toward some kind of crazy climax. My favorite books in the series so far have been Books 2, 3, and 6. Book 6 was hands-down awesome. If anyone out there is looking for a good SF/Fantasy epic, I recommend this one.

RECENT PUBLICATIONS AND NOVEL STATUS

As you know, the process of editing my novel has become gruesome to me. I'm taking it more slowly now. I also want to polish my scary screenplay and write new short stories. I'm afraid to start a new novel, because I get sucked in and tend to pay less attention to job hunting and films and stuff like that. Once I feel like my life is on a more comfortable track, you can bet I'll start another major project. I have more than enough ideas to run with.

I have a story accepted by Aoife's Kiss. "Leveling Mountains" will appear there sometime in 2005.
I have one submission waiting at Realms of Fantasy, one at Borderlands 6 anthology, and one at Corpse Blossoms anthology. That's all I have out there right now, which is pretty meager for me. You can count on a lot more news with my next update.

MOVIE AND BOOK REVIEWS

The Grudge was relentlessly scary. Lots of fun! Team America was very funny, but not the sort of movie I can watch repeatedly. Most of the gags were one-time only. But other than those movies and The Incredibles, there haven't been many good films lately. The Forgotten was like a low-budget made-for-TV movie. Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow was a huge disappointment, to me. They went all out on special FX, and the imagery was beautiful, but the plot completely failed in its attempt to pay homage to old-time pulp fiction.

Um . . . what have I been reading? Lots and lots of short stories. I'm a member of two critique groups now. That amounts to about three critiques per week. I'm also working through the last Borderlands anthology, in which my friend Lon Prater was published. And reading a bunch of SF magazines I got at the convention. And reading/critiquing a friend's novel. The novel is a relief, because I'm still more of a fan of epics than short form, but I'm also continually suprised by how much plot and character one can pack into a short story.

And now it's time for the . . .

WORLD FANTASY CONVENTION 2004 REPORT

This was my first con, and I learned a few things. Here are the highlights.

01) Many of the authors I talked with had completed five stand-alone novels or so before their first book was picked up by a publisher. There were a LOT of neo-pros there. I had this weird feeling that no one was taking me seriously because I have no pro publications. My conclusion is that I haven't written and submitted nearly enough stuff. I need a few pro publications!

02) The panels were pretty silly. A friend advised that I should attend panels based on WHO is on them rather than the topic, and I think this held true. The panelists were often answering audience questions or talking about their personal opinions rather than holding an illuminating discussion of the topic. There was one panel where they strayed completely from the topic and never came back to it. However, it was illuminating to listen to all these published authors and major editors speak. I feel like I have a much better sense of who they are and what they're about.

03) Ellen Datlow says that the SciFi Channel doesn't read her magazine, SciFiction. Both Ellen Datlow and Gordon Van Gelder want more SF and more Humor, and more complete stories with a protagonist who changes during the course of events. They believe that the importance of story structure is being forgetten, and want to see more stories with the traditional structure of a single hero who undergoes the most important change of his or her life.

04) Gordon Van Gelder gives detailed feedback to writers whom he considers to be promising. He says that sometimes a story is great except that the fantastic element shows up too late, or the setting/style is generic, or it's too literary.

05) All of the panelists on short stories agree that Robert Reed is a model of what a short story writer should be. He has at least 15 stories per year in all the major markets, and they're always good.

06) Tor editor David Hartwell cares so much about finding talent that he actually read a short story of John C. Wright's, then tracked him down and asked him if he had a novel.

07) I was really happy to talk with a screenwriter who's produced TV shows such as DS9 and Sliders. He gave me some nice tips on how to get in on the industry here. I know that book writers and screenwriters don't often mix, but I don't see why not. The mediums are not hugely different. The biggest difference I see is this: Screenwriters cannot survive if they're overly attached to the purity of their work.

08) Interestingly enough, I met an extremely talented animator who's attending the school (and department) I graduated from at CalArts. That was a surprising coincidence. We talked animation industry for a while.

09) The parties were tiring, and they stuffed a lot of people into those little suites. The Tor Books party was particularly crowded. There were about 100 people in a room designed to hold maybe 50. I'd been told that the parties would be mostly invitation only, but it seemed that anyone could walk into any party. There were only four suites or so in the hotel, and a party in them every night. I popped into most of them.

10) Shmoozing was not nearly as frightening as I'd imagined. Writers are very open to conversation. Unfortunately, most of the people there knew each other and were wrapped in private conversations. A few times, I struck up conversations with other people who looked alone. Most of them had their own weird tales about the getting-published process, and most were further along than I am (I have a competetive spirit, and couldn't help but compare). I really found everyone easy to talk to, which was a HUGE relief. I've known writers who are snobbish. It was also nice to realize that just about everyone at this convention wants a lifelong career as a writer or editor.

11) I met a whole bunch of people that I've hitherto only known online. It was exciting to meet other Odyssey graduates, friends from science_fiction_writing on Yahoo, and Samantha Henderson from my online critique group.

12) There were some good artists in the art show amidst the not-so-talented ones. I found a new artist to admire: Sarah Clemens. She's one talented woman. It was also cool to see the original book cover paintings by Janny Wurts and Don Maitz. They're much more impressive up close than on book covers.

13) One of the highlights of my experience at WFC was that a girl asked for my autograph. She was collecting them in case any of the new writers get famous. It was the first time anyone's requested my autograph, and I was flattered!

14) Authors did readings at the con, and I thought this was a great way to sample their work and decide if I wanted to buy one of their books or not.

15) The first panel I went to was a discussion on why adults read Young Adult novels. I thought that one of the best points in the debate was brought up by an audience member. He said that adult fantasy often focuses on using the magic for war and fighting, whereas YA fiction is still about the sheer wonder of magic. This may be why Jonathan Strange & Mr. Norrell is compared to the Harry Potter series. Although it's adult fiction, it's about the wonder of magic rather than using magic for war.

16) I enjoyed the panel about stereotyped characters. The panelists all had interesting things to say. Charles de Lint said that for him, beginning a new novel project is like starting a new job and having to get used to a new setting, new co-workers, etc. He also finds it important (as I do) to have people read the novel before it's published. Jo Walton mentioned that the "spunky woman heroine" in a medieval setting often doesn't belong in that world. The spunky woman heroine is a 20th century woman, not a person that grew up in a medieval society.

17) The panel about villains got a little silly, but it was fun. I'm glad that L.E. Modesitt, Jr. pointed out the done-to-death stereotype of stupid bad guys who also happen to be powerful. Those also bother me. I get bored with stupid villains in novels and movies. Enough with the James Bond cliches! David Levine mentioned that villains are often the agents of progress or change--a new regime--while the protagonists are often trying to restore the old way of doing things. Strange, huh? I think so. But it holds true more often than not. Even in my Yeresunsa saga, the protagonists are trying to restore an ancient culture, and the bad guys are all about technological progress.

18) Finally, the panel about recurring characters in series was a good one. James Barclay doesn't believe in writer's block; he said that Terry Pratchett holds the same opinion. An audience member--Carrie Vaughn--brought up the point that a character must change in order to be interesting, but this might get tiresome in a long series where the character changes in every book. L.E. Modesitt answered this by saying that he never writes more than three books about any given character; beyond that, the character begins to seem plastic. Barclay said his limit is six books before the character gets tired. There was much mention of Lois McMaster Bujold handling a character through seven books without making him seem too plastic. Yes, Bujold is definitely on my list of authors to try soon!

With that, I believe I've run out of things to say. Oh! Email. If you email me, and I don't reply for a month or two, it's because I want to take the time to write a thought-out response. I'm usually too busy or lazy to do that. The one-sentence replies tend to go out the fastest. If I have more than one sentence to say to you, then . . . sorry. I'll reply eventually.

Best of luck to everyone who had the patience to read this. Happy Holidays!

Rewrite Frustrations

I've just got to say . . . right now, the idea of being attached to my writing is a HUGE JOKE to me. I must have written and discarded about 20,000 words for the new version of my novel, and I'm barely halfway through this monstrous rewrite. I mean, I must have written a novella's worth of words that will never see the light of day. I'm not bitter about that part of it. I don't mind losing crap that isn't working for the story as a whole. What bothers me is that I have no idea if I'm really making improvements, or just making a mess. For all I know, some of those discarded scenes would have been perfect. For all I know, I'm wasting a lot of effort on a new version that isn't any better than the old. And I feel certain that I will be writing another 20,000 words within the next two weeks, thinking that they're marvelous, only to have my hopes crushed when I reach a point and realize it isn't working. It's like repeatedly having my hopes crushed. Rewriting is a form of purgatory or something.

And I'll add that my "Scrap" file for this novel -- that is, the total amount of permanently discarded scenes -- is up to 84,000 words. That is literally a novel's worth of crap. The only reason I save it is for sentimental value. I can't stand the idea of throwing all that work away, even though no one will ever read it, and it's completely useless, and it's just taking up computer memory. I'll probably delete it when my novel is published. The next step after this rewrite is truly terrifying . . . I'll have to try to interest an agent or publisher. Let my query letter not suck! Let me be able to pitch this story without stammering!

So that's my month. I'm halfway through the rewrite, and I no longer find it remotely enjoyable. I yearn to write something new--I dream about it--but if I start a new project now, I know I'll never finish this one. I have vowed to myself to never undertake a rewrite like this again; not unless I'm offered money for it. This is hellish. I hate it.

Now you may be wondering why I'm doing it in the first place. I wonder that myself, sometimes. But here's the answer, as far as I can ascertain within the rotting mush that my brain has become: I'm not satisfied with the current/old version of my novel. I never was satisfied with it, even when I wrote the first draft. I feel absolute confidence that the story is wonderful, and I love the characters, but this novel had some major birthing pains, and I think it's a deformed baby. So now I'm trying to hammer it into a more acceptable shape. (Please excuse the crude analogy; I told you my brain is mush.) I'm willing to go to these great lengths and suffer to improve it, because I know this story is worth reading, and worth publication, and quite possibly bestseller material. I know I sound like an overproud author--or a mother talking about her child--but please remember that I have been known to shelve other novels rather than spend the effort to rewrite them. This one is worth the effort. I've already poured three years into it, on and off, and I will continue to pour effort into it until it sees publication . . . even then, I'll still promote it. And I can tell you that the current/old version wasn't BAD. It had a good reaction from test readers. A magazine even offered to publish it as a serial. But the reaction wasn't as great as I was hoping for, and like I said, it's a deformed baby. I think it can sell to a major publisher, with some more hammering. But wow, my arm is getting tired.

The Odyssey Writing Workshop

Back to reality. As I write this--long hand--I'm flying back to California after attending a six-week workshop devoted to genre writing. "Why long hand?" you may wonder. Well, I've become pretty handy at it after writing two to three critiques per day! Using the school's printers turned out to be more of a hassle than it was worth (I'm a night person), and I was doing line edits anyway, so I practiced my handwriting. It's nearly illegible. At least I can read it to type it up.

The Odyssey Writing Workshop completely exceeded my expectations, which were high to begin with. Admittedly, when I received the acceptance letter, I had some momentary doubts, wondering if they let just anyone in. But it turned out that all sixteen students were the sort of experienced, determined, talented writers that you rarely (if ever) find in online critique groups open to the public. Everyone had useful insights, and it was interesting to be able to talk with each author in person, and learn from their critiques of each other. The workshop teacher, Jeanne Cavelos, comes from a professional editing background and has a skill for adapting her advice to each writer's needs. I'm grateful that she was able to offer me fresh ideas and new angles on the novel series I've been writing and rewriting for years.

The guest lecturers and writer-in-residence (George R.R. Martin) added their personal experiences in the publishing industry, and plenty of interesting anecdotes and advice about writing. Looking back at my notes, I see that I've covered 8 pages from G.R.R. Martin alone. And, of course, some of the best things about the workshop included networking with other hopeful writers, and the pleasure of focusing solely on genre writing for six weeks. I've come out of this workshop with a new feeling of confidence. I believe that I've improved as a writer, and I also have a clearer view of the publishing industry, so my old reservations about submitting to major magazines and agents are gone. I'm eager to see if I can make pro sales and win awards!


My writing plans now consist of a lot of revising. I want to revise all of my unsold short stories, including novels and screenplays, and submit them to my top choice publishers. That will be an immense task . . . but you know I'm shamelessly crazy about writing, so I'll give it a try. And yes, I also plan to write new stories. I'll fit that in somewhere. Oh, and yes, I'm going to keep reading books and participating in my critique group. I'm back on my hectic my-computer-takes-up-my-entire-life schedule.

Two of my short stories were published while I was at Odyssey. The Blur can be read in Twilight Times, and Sunrise (longer yet sexier) is available in this month's Cyberpulp e-book/PoD anthology. This is my first story in print!

Novel status:

The Illusionist was rejected from Mundania Press in a polite and timely manner. Thanks to an insightful critique from Dave Fallon of DargonZine, and other test readers, and the Odyssey Workshop, I'm really seeing that this novel has problems. I may retire it until I have time for a major rewrite.

I heard through the writer grapevine that Baen Books lost everything in their electronic slush pile a month ago. If this is the case, they didn't notify the authors, and you can imagine my frustration. My novel Yeresunsa Book 1 was there exclusively since February 2004. Maybe (hopefully) it's still there. I've considered resubmitting it to them, but after Odyssey, I've oscillated back to my original ambition of querying literary agents. There are a few major ones I haven't tried yet. I still have a lot of faith that this book has major sales potential. Test readers have responded extremely well, and I'm going to revise it ASAP to get a better reaction. Now I just have to manage not to freeze up when it comes to querying agents. The problem is that I'm really proud of this book, attached to it in a way that I don't feel for my shorter works, so I'm paranoid that I'll ruin its chances with a bad query letter or synopsis.

Wrap up:

This is where I usually launch into short reviews of the most recent books I've read and movies I've seen. I'm too tired! I hope everyone is having a good summer. Best of luck to you all with your writing, artwork, or whatever your passions may be.

preparing for Odyssey

This Friday, I embark on an odyssey. Actually, it's the Odyssey Writing Workshop. This is a six week course for aspiring writers of Horror, Fantasy, and Science Fiction. It takes place at the Southern New Hampshire University, near where I grew up. It's also a very intensive course, with classes every day, events every weekend, and a large workload, so I'll be slow answering email for the next six weeks. If you live in New Hampshire, I'll give you a call.

What's so special about this workshop? Well, I signed up for two reasons: a) I'm guaranteed a lot of personal critiques, and b) the guest lecturers include renowned authors such as Catherine Asaro, Ellen Kushner, and George R.R. Martin. I'm really excited about this! G.R.R. Martin is one of my influences, so I'm looking forward to classes taught by him, and...wow, a personal critique.

The downside is that I won't be working for six weeks, and I'll be apart from my friends and significant other. I'm not exactly a big fan of New Hampshire, either. Lots of mosquitoes and black flies. But what the hell; an opportunity to learn from authors like this doesn't come along every year.

I'll be at Odyssey from June 11 through July 25. Larry will visit me during one weekend in the middle of it.

2. LIKE LIZ AND BETH
My animated short film Like Liz and Beth is now online! Quicktime is necessary to view it. This film was featured in the 1999 CalArts Producers Show, and leased to Level 13 Entertainment, Inc.

3. LANDSCAPE PAINTINGS
There's new artwork in my art gallery. You'll find new pictures in these categories: Landscapes, Characters, Animation, and Fan Art.

4. RECENTLY PUBLISHED ART
Two magazines have offered to publish my artwork! You'll find my drawings and paintings in Lighthouse Magazine, a print zine based in the U.K., and the online zine EOTU.

5. CELEBRITY SIGHTINGS
Life in Southern California isn't complete without celebrity sightings. However, one rarely gets to sit next to Tommy Lee Jones at a sushi restaurant, or say hi to James Cromwell in the street! Yup, two in one week. And I have lived here for seven years without seeing a single actor! Talk about universal synchronicity...or maybe they were filming something up here. Anyway, both incidents were a bit awkward, because I (in typical Abby style) did not recognize the actor until I had humiliated myself in front of him.

In the case of James Cromwell, I stared at him because I was sure I knew him; thinking he was someone I know in real life. Then he said "hi there" and walked on, and Larry and I realized in the same instant that this was the voice best known for saying "That'll do, pig."

In the case of Tommy Lee Jones...okay, Larry and I sat down to eat some sushi. Larry immediately noticed that a famous actor was sitting approximately five feet to my right. So he gestured with his eyes a few times. I didn't get the hint. So Larry proceeded to write "Tommy Lee" on a napkin. I said out loud "Tommy Lee?" Finally Larry wrote "CELEB --->" in big letters. But the funniest thing is that all of the waiters, waitresses, and manager gave us extra attention, because we're regular customers. Tommy Lee ended up glancing at Larry like "Should I know you?"

6. SCREENPLAY WRITING
This past semester, I took a course in screenplay writing at a local college. Our teacher has written S.W.A.T. and a few other movies, and he's a fun guy to listen to. Anyhow, the class wrapped up and I did not complete my screenplay in time. Now I'm angry at myself for all that procrastination! But my screenplay is 90% complete, and I'm looking forward to finishing it ASAP. Okay, it's a zombie film, but I truly scared myself while writing it! With luck, maybe I'll be able to sell it to a movie studio. I also have a few ideas for future screenplays.

Screenplays are a much more limited format than novels, but they're also quicker and easier to write. Other differences: When you sell a screenplay, you give up all of your rights to that work (including characters and plot), but you can get paid big bucks. Novels are much harder to make money from, but you can keep ownership of your work.

7. NOVEL STATUS
Yeresunsa Book I: The Nameless is still sitting in the slush pile at Baen Books. It's been there since February, and I expect it will be there until 2005. I hope an editor at a major publishing house reads it within the next few years! I feel confident that this book can sell. On the other hand, I'm very eager to give it one more revision, thanks to reader feedback.

The Illusionist has been at Mundania Press since January. After I sent a query, they sent a very polite, prompt reply that they're still considering it. I expect to receive a rejection (or acceptance) sometime this summer.

8. MOVIE REVIEWS
I saw Harry Potter 3, Troy, The Day After Tomorrow, and a few others. Without giving spoilers: I recommend Troy, especially if you like to watch buff men fight each other in skimpy outfits. Actually, it was a good movie, despite a few Hollywood cliches and Brad Pitt's recognizable factor.

Harry Potter 3 was better than the first two, but I was still disappointed by how much vital plot information they cut from the film, or told out of order. At least this one holds together reasonably well. I imagine that Harry Potter 4 will absolutely suck unless they divide it into two films; the book is three times longer than the first three, and from what I remember, not much of it can be cut without losing the story.

And please don't see The Day After Tomorrow. Don't support the idiots who thought it would be a good idea to tell a father-son reunion story against a backdrop of plot holes!

9. BOOK REVIEWS
I'm on a binge of good books lately. My highest recommendations go to: Hyperion by Dan Simmons, Oryx and Crake by Margaret Atwood, The Diamond Age by Neal Stephenson, and American Gods by Neil Gaimon. Really. Those books are page-turners, and better than anything I've read in years. Now I'm hooked on the Hyperion saga; I wish I had time to finish all four books before Odyssey.

Neal Stephenson's Snow Crash is also very good. And I read Barry B. Longyear's Enemy Mine, as he's the first guest lecturer at Odyssey. It's worth a read, if you can find it!

Now I need to pack for my six weeks in mosquito country.

Fire season

As the weather warms up and fire season starts, my schedule is getting hotter! That's hotter meaning hectic. Have you ever longed for the gift of More Free Time? Incidentally, I wrote a story with that premise, because I wish for that a lot. Every day. Several times per day. You can find A Taste of Time in the May 2004 issue of the e-zine Deep Magic.

I also had a daily short story in Flashshot, and I will have a few upcoming publications this summer. Exciting! In other news: Well, I have three weeks to finish writing a feature-length screenplay, prepare a pre-class assignment for the Odyssey Workshop, write a screenplay coverage report for a class, revise my epic novel based on recent feedback (thank you Jackline, Maggie, Sue, J.R., Steven, and Cecile), critique a few stories for a workshop, and fulfil a few outside obligations to people. I know I'm forgetting something. Did I mention that this is all slated for the next three weeks? Did I mention that I have a full-time job now? And that I want to read all the authors who'll be at the Odyssey Workshop? And that I want to update my WoT Theories section and add new art to my online gallery? Oh -- and that I really want to write a few more short stories and submit my current ones to zines?

Please be understanding if I'm slow in answering my email.

Currently reading: Snowcrash by Neal Stephenson, Freehold by Michael Z. Williamson, and the first three Pern novels by Anne McCaffrey. It's rare for me to read three books at once like this, but they're all in different formats. Audio, paperback, and read aloud with boyfriend. :-)

New online hang-out: Orkut. Those Communities are addictive.

Addendum: Yes, I still have a semblance of a real-life social life!

unemployed and unpublished

Firstly, I was accepted into the 2004 Odyssey Writing Workshop! It's a six week program that takes place from June to July in Manchester, New Hampshire. That happens to be near where I grew up, which is just a coincidence...anyhow, I'm really excited about this, because the guest lecturers include George R.R. Martin (one of my favorite fantasy authors) and Gardner Dozois (the editor of Asimov's SF Magazine).

My job hunt continues, but I've picked up some freelance work animating sprites for a GBA game. It's fun!

COMING SOON on my website: Love Advice from Mack Master Sugar Batter! This guest columnist is *not me* (I feel the need to stress that), but she will have a section HERE. Send your questions and pleas for relationship advice to Sugar Batter!

Also, I've added some new illustrations to The Illusionist, and I plan to add more when I have time.

I'm writing a screenplay about sentient alien parasites that possess a group of human scientists. It's sort of a cross between Alien and Resident Evil. This will be my first feature length screenplay, and my goal is to have it finished by May.

My two completed, ready-to-go novels are currently in the slush piles at Baen Books, and Mundania Press. Reply times are four months at Mundania, and over a year at Baen, so I won't know if I'm rejected or accepted for quite a while. Unfortunately, the odds of being published in print are piled against new authors. Most publishers (even major ones) only publish one or two new authors per year, and they get thousands of submissions. And there's a nasty catch-22: In order to get noticed by a publisher, you usually need an agent, but in order to get an agent, it seems that you need to have a contract with a publisher. Genre fiction is a hard field to break into.

If you're wondering what my track record for these novels is so far, here it is:

• I've been unable to get an agent to so much as read the first three chapters of either novel. I think the problem is either a poor synopsis, a lack of impressive writing credits, or a lack of connections.
  
• The Illusionist has been rejected from LTDBooks and Renaissance e-Books. LTDBooks offered a little bit of feedback with their rejection.
  
• Baen Books is the first publisher that will ever see Yeresunsa Book 1: The Nameless...provided they actually see it, of course, and don't lose the manuscript or chuck it into the trash without reading it. Yes, I have fears about that. Of course, I won't find out until mid-2005, and I can't submit it elsewhere until then.

What else...? Hmm. Short stories. I've written a few more, and I'm finally starting to like doing it, a little. I still prefer epic novels (both reading and writing), so short fiction is really hard for me. It's literally harder for me to write a good 5,000 word story than a well-plotted 150,000 word novel! What is my problem? Anyway, I'm pleased to report that I've had a story accepted for publication in Deep Magic. This is a really nice genre e-zine; well above standard, in my opinion. And I formed that opinion long before they accepted my story. :-)

I will be attending the 2004 World Fantasy Convention in Tempe, Arizona, this October. Look for me there! Okay, so maybe you won't be there...(or maybe you will; if so, I'm the redhead carrying a notebook portfolio)...but I'll write an update on how it goes. This is my first writing-oriented convention, and I have nothing notable published yet. Scary!

So, that's the end of my news. The weather is getting nice and hot here. I have my first sunburn of the season. I will continue to whittle through my backlog of emails, job hunt, prepare for Odyssey and conventions and other stuff, and write that screenplay. Oh yeah, and finish updating The Wheel of Time section before Robert Jordan writes the next book.

Panama Canal cruise

So, Larry and I just got back from a two week cruise from Los Angeles to Fort Lauderdale, via the Panama Canal. :-) This was my first cruise, and my first trip to Central America. The ports we visited were very tourist oriented, but we did see some of the beautiful countryside in Costa Rica, and rainforest natives in Panama. Most of our time was spent aboard the Sun Princess. It can easily hold 1200 passengers and 900 crew members, so this wasn't really a drawback; there was plenty to do, and I'm always able to relax or entertain myself with reading and drawing. There will soon be some new book reviews, drawings, and rants on my website. Rants? you ask. Yes, well, we were floating with the geriatric crowd there! Larry and I were the youngest couple on that ship...the average age was upwards of fifty.

PHOTOGRAPHS of our journey can be viewed on Larry's virtual Photo Album. And now, I'll provide an account of what happened.

First, we boarded our 14 deck floating hotel. It had several pools, spas, a gym, several lounges, several restaurants and bars, two theatres, a nightclub, a minimall, a casino, an arcade, a library, lots of cool paintings and sculptures, and more stuff that I can't remember. It's not surprising that its top speed was about 22 knots, which is something like 25 miles per hour. Anyway, we tested out one of the pools, and I thought it was cool that water kept sloshing out of the pool into an overflow enclosure around it. There was a Reggae band. That seemed appropriate until I realized that they were playing the same songs over and over, and not very well.

Every night, we had dinner at an assigned table in an elegant dining room. Each table had a head waiter, a waiter, and an assistant waiter, all from different countries. Larry and I were in fine company at that table, which is lucky, because not all of the ship's passengers were overly polite. Two couples at the table were from England, and three were from California, including us. Everyone got along, and there were interesting conversations and jokes told at every dinner.

The first port of call was CABO SAN LUCAS, MÉXICO.

The Baja peninsula is mostly desert, and the terrain looked similar to southern California. Our ship was too big to dock near the city, so smaller boats called "tenders" were used to ferry the tourists to shore. We had already signed up for all of our shore excursions via the internet. All we needed was our tickets, our sunscreen, and some beach towels. We were going snorkeling off the deck of a sailboat.

Once on the pier, we passed a few tourist shops, and got directly onto the sailboat with about twenty other passengers. Our tour took us to a little cove between two rocky cliffs, facing a private beach. The Mexican tour guides gave us instructions on how to use snorkel gear, which I needed, as I had never snorkeled before. Then we stepped down a ladder into the water, one by one. My first snorkeling experience was impressing. The water was murky, but the fish came close enough to blink at me. I was slightly paranoid about the warnings that jellyfish had been spotted in the area, as I've had the misfortune to have suffered a sting from a Portuguese Man-of-War when I was a child not wearing my glasses, and walking along a Florida beach littered with "purple balloons."

So anyway, there were no jellyfish or sharks, and the tour guides began spilling nachos into the water, which explained why the fish were so friendly. The waves were rough because of a nearby hurricane. I thought I might finally get a little bit tan, but no, it was a sunburn.

On our way back, we sped past some very dramatic rock formations, including a natural arch carved by ocean waves, and a leaning spire as sharp as a knife. There was a rock covered with snoozing seals. I'll mention the pelicans, but we saw pelicans in every port we stopped at, albeit different subspecies.

ACAPULCO, MÉXICO.

The tour we'd signed up for was the Shotover Jet Boat ride, and that turned out to be a lot of fun. After riding in a van through the beautiful (yet traffic-clogged) city of Acapulco, we arrived at a mangrove swamp, where the open-topped jet boat was waiting. It had something like 550 hp, and it could travel at something like 45 miles per hour. I was impresed by the skill of the driver, who managed to skim the boat through narrow swamp channels at top speed without hitting anything, although the channel was barely wider than the boat, and then swing the back end around so we did a 360 in the water. The wildlife was friendly, considering the noise from the boat. We saw a wild pig (maybe a boar) with some piglets, and an owl, and lots of cranes. There were crocodiles in the area, but they must have been sleeping.

After the ride, we went on a tour through the city. We saw the former home of artist Diego Rivera, with a lovely mosaic mural on the walls on either side of the gates. We drove through several narrow winding streets, and at last we saw the famous Acapulco cliff divers. Three young men wearing speedos each swam across a rough ocean channel, scaled a steep cliff wall (only wearing speedos, mind), prayed at an altar, meditated, and then dove into the rough channel. I'm not sure how high the dive was, but I would estimate about sixty to eighty feet. They had to really get some distance on the jump, because the cliff sloped down to the water at an angle.

PUNTARENAS, COSTA RICA.

I have a tough time deciding what the highlight of the trip was, but Costa Rica was certainly the most immersing tour. We rode in a tour bus for two hours, onto the Continental Divide, stopping briefly at a coffee plantation along the way. We were going to see the plugged crater of the active Poas Volcano, at an elevation of 8,870 feet above sea level. There was a small museum there, and then we hiked on a paved path through a cloud forest toward the watery crater. I regret to say that I saw no monkeys. What we saw were some huge leafy plants called "porous umbrellas," with leaves that could measure four feet or more. The cloud forest was so named because it was, well, cloudy. At that elevation, most of the clouds were below us. One can see both the Atlantic and the Pacific Oceans from the summit of Poas on a clear day.

The plugged crater was filled with a luminescent, opaque, turquoise pool of rainwater that was heated up and mixed with deadly minerals. It was impossible to say how deep it might be. The area around it was issuing sulfur fumes from seven or eight vents. In fact, a wide swath of the mountainside downwind from the crater was barren, because the sulfur mixes with the clouds and produces acid rain. The fumes were so deadly that we (the tourists) would have had to leave immediately if the wind were to change directions.

After that, we ate a buffet lunch at a restaurant in the LaPaz Waterfall Gardens. It was on an outdoor balcony overlooking clouds (well, at the time), and we saw hummingbirds feeding around us. A housecat shared our meal by begging at each table, and sitting in peoples' chairs as soon as they stood up. The cat thought my camera strap was a plaything, and ended up jumping into my lap for no apparent reason.

We drove through a lot of Costa Rican countryside, and the people were refreshingly friendly in a non-salesmen kind of way. Everyone waved to the tour bus--little kids, teenagers in school uniforms, construction workers, older folks, and so on--and I was surprised by how much the terrain looked like pictures of Switzerland. There were a lot of pine and aspen trees, rolling green hills and verdant pastures, and moss growing on everything. The towns were small (we drove through several), with fenced yards, often with a small cow tethered outside to mow the lawn. A lot of houses had broad patio porches with shiny tiles, and sofas or armchairs, as if it was a room without walls. There were many dog owners, too, and all the dogs looked happy. Most buildings had corrugated tin roofs to channel away the rain. Many of them had laundry hanging on lines to dry in the front yard, which led me to wonder how dry any clothing could get in such a wet atmosphere.

On the way back to the ship, we stopped in the town of Sarchi, where a family of artists have been painting beauiful designs on oxcarts and chests for generations. Like everywhere else, the store had the same basic tourist items sold throughout Central America--such as wooden boxes, T-shirts, pins and magnets--but it also had a good variety of more unique items, such as lacquered paintings on wood, and potholders woven to look like chickens. I don't know if the latter is really unique, but I didn't see them in any other tourist shops during our journey.

PANAMA CANAL, and CRISTÓBAL, PANAMA.

For most passengers who had been on cruises before, this was meant to be the highlight of the journey. For the ship, this was a seasonal transfer (I think) from the Alaskan coast to the Caribbean. They had to pay some huge amount to pass through, something like $160,000, but don't quote me on that. Anyway, we entered the Canal very early, like at 6AM, and exited around 4PM. Larry stood on deck most of the day taking photos, and got a bad sunburn on his arms, so he looked like an action figure with mismatched arms. The Canal has a series of water locks, sealed off by massive underwater gates, that slowly lift the ships to an artificial lake (created by dams). On the other side, the ships descend into the ocean by another series of locks. The Canal gets so much traffic that the lake can't be used for any other purpose, and we saw many cargo ships and oil tankers, all of them smaller (height-wise) than our cruise ship. In fact, our ship was close to the maximum size for passing through the Panama Canal. There was about 16 inches of leeway on either side while we were in the locks. If we had been on a lower deck (such as deck 4), we would have been staring out the window at the Canal wall. There were train tracks on either side of the Canal, and sturdy little locomotives held our ship in place with thick cables. I'm sure if the ship were to wobble a little, it would have hit the side of the Canal.

The Canal is one-way traffic, as there are only two traffic channels, side by side, to and from the lake in the center. Our ship was the first to leave the lake, and we had a brief stop in the city of Cristóbal. There was only enough time to check out a local bazaar (that's what it seemed like) and a restaurant/bar. It was interesting, though, because the bazaar gave me my first real sense that I was in a foreign nation...in terms of atmosphere and impressions. It was the first place where the local people did not seem to fully understand Westerners. Sure, the same items were on sale--T-shirts, pen holders, envelope openers, pottery, boxes, and some knickknacks that were supposedly hand-carved but had been sold in every shop from Mexico to Aruba--but not everyone spoke English (how about that!) and a number of people wore costumes to entertain tourists, which is something I hadn't seen in any shop elsewhere. There was a man in an elaborate costume (I have no idea what it was, but it looked like a rainforest version of the Green Man) who stepped around outside the doorway of one area. There were choreographed dancers in what looked like traditional old-style Spanish clothes. Even more exotic--there was a line of natives from a rainforest tribe, selling pottery and beaded jewelry, and wearing nothing but loincloths and body paint.

ORANGESTAD, ARUBA.

Aruba has a friendly motto, and they live up to it. Our first tour was on a passenger submarine. We rode a fast little boat to the electrical submarine, and climbed down into it one by one, sitting on a row of bench seats facing large windows. The submarine descended to about 150 feet, touching the bottom of the coral reef area. We saw a few shipwrecks, which turned out to have been sunken by the Arubans for the pleasure of fish and tourists alike. We saw a variety of coral and fish, including some barracuda, and a weird fish that kept eating algae off the side of the submarine.

The highlight of the trip, for me, was snorkeling in Aruba. We took a boat to De Palm Island, which is (from what I gathered) a private island with a hotel, beach, a restaurant, and lots of pretty palm trees and huts. There was a short pier where snorkelers could walk into the coral reef waters. Larry and I did that, and we were so enchanted by the experience that we ended up being late and almost missing our bus back to the cruise ship. There were hundreds of different fish that we saw--many so close that we could touch them--and the water was crystal clear. The reef formations varied, but the water was only six feet deep in most places. The coolest thing is that we could hear the parrotfish eating, crunching away at the coral with their beaks. Some of those parrotfish were a good four feet long, and wide also, and they looked intelligent for fish. Apparently they get fed by people sometimes, so they were very tame. Beyond that, we saw some long skinny fish (I'm no expert on fish), rainbow-colored fish, yellowtail, and a pretty black fish with glowing indigo speckles. Of course, there were more than that, and I swam through several schools of small silvery fish. It doesn't sound all that thrilling now that I've written it down, but I would do it again any time.

CONCLUSIÓN.

You might (or might not) wonder what I did on the cruise ship, other than draw and read. Well, we saw a musical stage production, which was impressive considering the fact that the dancers were on a rocking ship. Our ship went through a hurricane off the coast of Mexico, between Cabo San Lucas and Acapulco. It was rocking so hard during the night that Larry thought he might get thrown out of bed, and I was actually afraid that the ship might capsize. Neither of us slept much. There was lightning every two seconds or so. Of course, our stateroom (aka cabin) was located in the very front of the ship, so we could feel the ship shudder every time it rose out of the ocean and crashed down again. We didn't get seasick--but our stateroom steward did! After the hurricane, she called us to say that she was sick and couldn't work.

Twice, we saw dolphins playing in the wake of the ship. They really had fun, leaping completely out of the water, but they were usually too far away to see clearly. We also saw some freaky looking ocean birds that resembled a cross between penguins and pterodactyls, known as the brown booby. They were eating flying fish.

That's about it. This entry has gone on long enough, ya think? I'm glad I had some time during the cruise to read, and brainstorm some story ideas, and come up with new content for my website, and share it all with you. Now it's back to the job hunt. By the way, I'm preparing to submit Yeresunsa Book I to a major publisher. All it needs is a flawless synopsis and cover letter. I'm stressing over that, but I can't wait to get it done and get busy waiting! Have a good day, y'all.

writing update

Lots going on. I've had a short metafiction story accepted for publication in neverary.com. I'm waiting to hear from Weird Tales magazine about another one of my stories.

I will be co-writing a screenplay for a feature film, along with Jason Denzel, who is incidentally the director behind the Dragonmount film project, which I am contributing to with my 3D animation experience.

I plan to submit another screenplay, my original work, to an animated TV sitcom pitching contest, hosted by Fox Studios. You can view some of my original character designs for this sitcom at my online art gallery by clicking here and scrolling down to the animal designs.

What about my novels? I've finished editing Book II of Yeresunsa, leaving only Book III as a rough draft. It will have to stay that way a while longer. As usual, I'm stressing over stupid things, such as the fact that I'm an unknown author with few publication credits. How seriously will agents and editors take my huge fat novel manuscript when it lands on their desks? There's no way to know but to try, of course, but I would feel better about submitting it if I had some more credibility. Things like guild memberships, nepotism, and awesome publication credits aren't supposed to matter that much to agents and editors--supposedly--but I hear stories about manuscripts being thrown in the trash because the author didn't have a recognizable name. I think this might have happened to me. No way to know for sure, but I received that rejection letter awfully quick. The agent couldn't have had time to read the manuscript. She responded the next day, and she must have a huge slush pile.

This is the sort of silly worry going through my head at this point. I don't mind if I get a rejection letter from someone who honestly read my book. I feel confident that it's an appealing story, and at least one agent or editor out there is bound to like it. What worries me is the idea of never getting read in the first place. There aren't a whole lot of SF/Fantasy novel publishers.

So I'm going to work on some more short stories. I will send out query letters and phone calls regarding Book I of Yeresunsa, but I'll also concentrate on getting myself some more credibility. So far, my first query letter (to one of my favorite publishers) was never responded to. That's mildly depressing.

The Illusionist is technically ready to be sent out as well, but I don't feel that confident about it. I'll let it sit for a while. Does every novelist hoping to be published go through this crazy nervousness about sending out their finished manuscripts?

July 2003 musings

Just came back from a trip to New Hampshire. It was great to see some of my friends from high school, and some of my family members. I'm really enjoying the novel manuscripts that I'm test reading right now (for an author who has done me the same favor). Seriously, this stuff is good. I hope to see it in a bookstore one day.

Still editing Yeresunsa, and still confident that it's good, and still hoping to interest an agent in it, yet still worried that it might get dismissed due to high word count combined with my unknown name. That's on top of the usual writer's worries that the story could be improved--but how? And should I continue to rework this thing until the clay dries out?

Writing in May

Lately, I've been starting short stories, and not completing them. I have the endings in mind . . . but I let myself get distracted with other things. I'm not sure if my life would be considered busy compared with the average person, but it always feels busy to me. For every thing that gets done, three things replace it. Some things have to take priority over writing.

That's not to say that I haven't done anything with my stories. I've submitted one short to a critique group (thanks to everyone at Milk of Medusa!), and I believe it's ready for submission to zines. Another short story, Fiction, is also ready. It was accepted at a zine earlier this year, but the editor is on a possibly permanent hiatus, and has given permission for me to shop the story to other zines.

Researching zines is a perilous activity. I get caught up reading them, and never get around to submitting. There are hundreds of zines on the internet, but only a handful print magazines that will publish scifi/fantasy short fiction. Lots of great fiction out there from new or unknown authors.

Status on my novels: Reader feedback has been coming in, and I'm very grateful for all of it. Reactions to The Illusionist are good. Suggestions and other factors have me rethinking a few details of the story. It needs a bit more work before being submitted to the literary agency I have in mind.

Reactions to the first part of Yeresunsa have been beyond great. To those who are currently reading it: Your feedback is still welcome, of course! I will take all suggestions into consideration. You are invited to be brutally honest. Please!

So why haven't I submitted it anywhere? Because Parts II and III need work. I've barely gone over them. Yes, they are three separate books, but something tells me that I should have all three finished, just in case I'm amazingly lucky and land an editor who is willing to combine them into a single volume, as I had originally intended.

I doubt anyone really reads these updates, or cares what I'm babbling about, but it's good therapy for me. If you want to laugh . . . I've been working on a horror story that has me so scared, I can't work on it while I'm home alone. Every time Larry walks past my computer, I jump about two feet.

In other news: It's hot here in California. Even I start complaining when it's 100F.